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for my loved ones

thanks to loz and theo for helping to write this and my father for teaching me guitar


released December 3, 2015



all rights reserved


the happy birthdays London, UK

you know that feeling when you're walking along the street and it's late at night and you step on a plastic cup and it breaks under your heel and you turn around but it's useless because it's already broken and there's nothing to be done

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Track Name: scariest dream
4 nights ago
my blood was poisoned by the nyquil
chains of perfect metal spinning
in a vicious circle

it was the scariest dream
it was the scariest dream ive ever known
it broke my bones

3 nights ago
i pissed in an underpass
i cut my palm on broken glass

it was the scariest thing

i thought of us
and felt alone
i caught a bus
and i went home
Track Name: success
my last happy memory
is october on the beach
cause my stomach hurt from laughing
and when winter came
i coughed myself to sleep

i could tell my favourite joke
and all my friends would laugh
and i could drink until im numb
and fall asleep on purpose in the bath

but i don't want to
so i won't

forgive me.

i could wear a pretty dress
but i wont make the effort
and i could be a big success
but i wont even pull myself together

just forget about it
oh my god ill always be a failure

death is near...
Track Name: future
dirty thing
beneath the sink
youre such a fucking waste
just like your sister's teeth
youre easily replaced

20 years of daytime tv
take it easy
move into
the grave that gapes
for you

theres no escape
Track Name: friday night is just alright
and all the boys will eat my blood
and grope me as i walk
and friday night is just alright
but i dont want to talk

and all my sin comes crashing down
until i stagger home again
get off in the confession booth
say grace before the bloody knife

and tell you on the telephone
about all the evil things ive done
Track Name: drip
pissing makes the shaking stop
i hate to eat when i wake up

cant go outside cause its too cold
under three tshirts and my bathrobe...

ill spend the next three days in bed
wait for your call and wish that i was dead

the ceiling drips, my eyelid aches
i pick my scabs and my mistakes...
Track Name: gaunt john
"...i come from a place where evil seems easier to pinpoint because you can see it in the flesh. it becomes people, so you know exactly the danger of being deformed by it. but i find pathetic these stories of women contaminating the universe..."

the leaves fell and it was winter
Track Name: her vinyl gloves fill up with blood
she finds a job to pay for drugs
(her vinyl gloves fill up with blood)

she goes to sleep and dreams of love
(her vinyl gloves fill up with blood)

when she gets high she feels so good
(her vinyl gloves are filling up)

she goes to sleep and dreams that blood is filling up her vinyl gloves